Facebook Etiquette for Divorcees and their Families

I know in the whole scheme of divorce this may seem petty but… does anyone else feel a little hurt when their family and / or close friends “comment” or “like” on their ex’s Facebook page? I mean it’s obvious right – your kids are going to like their dad’s post and engage with their father and I totally support that, of course, but should my sister and brother? Isn’t there supposed to be an allegiance?

Lack of family loyalty

In my defense, let me say, I have blocked my ex, so generally I don’t see what he posts or who likes his posts, but every so often I hear about it or see them. So maybe you’re thinking I’m way too sensitive and possibly I am – but five years later it still feels like a lack of loyalty! So let’s say, if my siblings shouldn’t, should my nieces and nephews? Where does it stop? Is there a list somewhere? And how about cousins?

Turning it all around, should I like his cousin’s posts? Or his cousin’s wife’s posts? And where do the good friends fit in? Confusing isn’t it? I can see I’m possibly being ridiculous, but if my siblings are liking my ex’s posts should I feel betrayed? His siblings never like my posts – which really makes it worse, doesn’t it.

Am I being too petty?

Is it silly to then ask your siblings not to like his posts? And how about their partners? Would you have to ask them separately?

And what about your parents? (Not that mine are on facebook – but what if they were?) Which I suppose begs the question, what about the in-laws, for example what if your ex-mother-in-law posted her birthday photo, would it be ruder to “like” it or ignore it?

Then there was that time my kids were in hysterics – apparently a joint friend posted something and the ex & I both posted the same comment. It was comment one and two for all the world to see, except us, we were both oblivious. If friends were as entertained as my kids – we provided the laugh of the week. How often must that happen? It could make you paranoid couldn’t it?

Facebook cares about us.. no really!

Facebook already has lots of great “divorce” options – for example you can filter “On This Day” memories based on a person or a date. No memories with photos of your ex will ever pop up, or maybe you want to filter a date eg your wedding day. (Wish life was that easy!!). Here’s the link! Did you know that without blocking them you can also just stop their activity from coming up on your news feed and stop their name coming up when you tag photos. The app can also hide all posts of yours from your ex (unless the person is tagged). Pretty impressive huh?

Possibly I could suggest an amendment to Facebook for sensitive, divorced people. It could let you add a list of people to the following: Please don’t show my ex’s activity to the following. I could then list my family, friends… Okay maybe there would be a maximum number of people, for example twenty! Or maybe Please don’t let my ex post of the following people’s posts – then I could add my siblings and immediate family and maybe a few close friends!

Who ever said divorce was easy?

Ann Wine

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